Good morning everyone,
Today, we’re analyzing “Attack of the Amazing Colossal Latino!” by Brian Brennan. Ostensibly, this is a parody of 1957’s “The Amazing Colossal Man.” In actuality, this 1995 film most closely resembles “Attack of the 50 Foot Hooker,” which came out during the previous year in 1994. That claim of similarity between these two productions is based on the fact that both are adult films which had an fantastical theme tacked onto the beginnings and endings. The primary difference being that Attack of the 50 Foot Hooker was intended for straight audiences and Attack of the Amazing Colossal Latino! was intended for homosexual audiences.
Which is to note that the bulk of the runtime is a series of straight-up (see what I did there? 😉 ) sex scenes. So, if viewers are adverse to watching graphically depicted male-on-male fellatio, anal penetration, and money shots then they will not want to watch this.
Now, to be clear, the producers may not have been aware of Attack of the 50 Foot Hooker. Presumably, Attack of the Amazing Colossal Latino! was made merely as a vehicle for an extended “size queen” joke. A sleazy businessman (Ivan Bloatski, we’ll discuss him more later on) needed a well-endowed man for a condom promotion and got way more than he expected.
Additionally, and this should not be a surprise, the only connections to The Amazing Colossal Man are the partially borrowed title and the inclusion of an exceptionally tall man.
But let’s back up and discuss some of the details regarding the production. As already mentioned, this was a Brian Brennan film. He directed and produced this movie filmed in New York City, within Spanish Harlem and around Times Square. According to IMDb, Mr. Brennan has been credited on several gay pornographic films. He primarily worked as a director, but also as a producer, actor, and once as a writer.
Antonio Caballo played the gigantic Latino. Mr. Caballo’s credited appearances, per IMDb, were as an actor in three gay porno’s made in 1995 and 1996.
The film begins with the narrator giving some exposition. He assures the reader that the narrative is a true story. (NOTE: If I’m honest, I have my doubts!)
The movie transitions to a series of sex scenes, loosely connected to Antonio Caballo’s effort to find employment and housing in the Big Apple. In the process, Caballo performs various sex acts with other men. Eventually, he is hired by “Ivan Bloatski,” played by M. Vic Mann, to work as a toilet cleaner receiving $4.65 an hour. Bloatski is the owner of the “Big Boner-Boy” condom corporation and needs a well-endowed model to promote his product.
Bloatski complains that Caballo is not big enough. Caballo goes to the rooftop of Bloatski’s building and then, wouldn’t you know it, it was a perfect time for a UFO to swing by and pluck Caballo off the rooftop.
After three days or so, Caballo is returned to Bloatski’s rooftop. Bloatski finds him on the roof and they walk downstairs while Bloatski complains incessantly about Caballo’s abrupt disappearance. Then, suddenly, Cabbalo begins to grow!
The growth scene was indeed short. Nonetheless, it’s important to put this film into its proper context. Attack of the 50 Foot Hooker skipped over its growth scene and chose to forgo that most crucial of cinematic requirements!
After turning into a giant, we see some interaction between Caballo and some tiny props.
Eventually, he breaks out of the building.
The actor was then pictured behind a projection of New York City while “chasing” Bloatski around the urban setting.
This portion featured Bloatski running down crowded sidewalks while periodically looking behind him. I wondered if the plethora of bystanders had any inclination that they were being recorded and would appear in an adult film. I have serious doubts that anyone gave their permission or that proper film permits were acquired!
This portion was executed in a decent fashion, but it was difficult to suspend disbelief when crowds paid no attention to an enormous naked guy. One would assume a nude 200 foot tall man would garner at least a modicum of attention.
Eventually, Bloatski disappears inside an apartment building and surprisingly will never actually be caught by Caballo. Instead, Caballo climbs up the Empire State Building (just like King Kong did in 1933) and the UFO returns to whisk him away. The nerd from the introduction reappears to say “case closed” and assures the people of Earth that they can rest easy. Allegedly, the “naked giant can threaten us no longer” as he went to a galaxy far, far away. But then a giant hand attempts to snag the narrator! (NOTE: The tip of the giant’s fingers were visible many seconds before making his move. Also, a telephone ring was heard which presumably was a mistake.)
Overall, is this recommended? Hmm… I think so. Attack of the Amazing Colossal Latino! is suggested for giant male fans that enjoy explicit scenes.
However, it is necessary to temper expectations. There was no interaction between the giant and any normal-sized people. The many sex scenes had nothing to do with a colossal-sized man. The special effects were lackluster. The inclusion of the growth scene was nice, but it wasn’t as believable as the work of modern amateur creators like Destruction Damsels or Media Impact. Therefore, the appeal might be greatest for those who are curious about the history of size and not so much for those fans looking for a well-executed size-themed porno.
That’s it for today folks. Next week will begin with a classic sci-fi story from 1957. We’ll dive into “The Goddess of World 21.” Until then, keep growing!
This review was written by SolomonG and is protected under Fair Use copyright law.
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