“Savage Breasts” by Nina Kiriki Hoffman

Good morning all,

This review will cover a quirky little story called “Savage Breasts.” It was written by Nina Kiriki Hoffman and first published within the pages of “Pulphouse: The Hardback Magazine” in 1988. This very short tale was later reprinted in the “Smart Dragons, Foolish Elves” anthology and in the “The Best of Pulphouse: The Hardback Magazine,” both of which were published in 1991. It also appeared in another anthology entitled “Witpunk” during 2003, and lastly it re-appeared in 2016 as part of the anthology “Savage Breasts & Other Misbehaving Body Parts,” which consists of eight stories by Nina.

Savage Breasts involves a female secretary named Mae June who is lonely and unlucky in matters of romance. The main character’s name is indicative of the story’s tone and sense of humor. Further supporting my assessment that this was intended to be a bit funny, the protagonist uses the metaphor of food to describe her plight:

I was only a lonely leftover on the table of Life. No one seemed interested in sampling me.

Seeking change, Mae June sends off for an exercise kit advertised in a Wonder Woman comic book. Of interest, that comic was not her own, but was instead something she found lying on a table within the company’s cafeteria. Apparently, at least one of the company employees reads comics at work.

Adults reading physical comic books in their office seemed a little odd. Not that it was a crucial point, and of course it’s not impossible by any means. Still, even in the 1980s when this story was first released, it felt like an anachronism or a relic of an earlier time. No actual timeframe was given for the story, but it feels like this was set in the 1940s or 1950s. That was further reinforced when a reference was made to a “Charlotte Atlas” pamphlet, parodying the Charles Atlas ads which used to run in comic books. Ads like this one:

This was taken from the last page of America’s Best Comics #30, April 1949. That comic is now in the public domain.

Back to the plot, Mae June does her exercises and experiences dramatic results. Her newly enlarged curves make Mae June very popular with men and predictably leads to a few sexual encounters. However, those enlarged mammary glands somehow develop a mind of their own and begin to assault would-be lovers. No one suffered unrecoverable injuries, instead there was just a punch or two to dissuade admirers. Understandably though, Mae June becomes dismayed at the wanton violence wrought by her wayward bosom. They even prevent Mae June from typing and thus doing her normal office duties! A solution was eventually found, but I don’t want to give spoilers. So, I’ll leave it up to readers to discover the plot’s resolution on their own.

All in all, this was a fun read. Nonetheless, it’s a bit difficult to recommend. Modern readers accustomed to the graphic sex acts depicted in today’s breast expansion (B.E.) comics and other media will find very little of that in this particular story. Coitus took place in a manner suitable for a PG-13 movie and felt chaste to be frank. (NOTE: Although, my perspective may be warped from reading too many explicit Breast Expansion Story Club (B.E.S.C.) comics and written erotica like “Birthday Surprise.”)

Furthermore, the description of breast growth was minimal and the precise way in which a fatty mass of tissue, ergo a boob, could punch someone was left untold. That’s to say, I think muscles of some sort would be required for a body part to move or to punch. I’m not a doctor, but to my understanding there are no muscles within human breast tissue. (NOTE: Any medical professionals want to interject, please do so in the comments section below!) To be fair, the impossibly rapid growth in B.E. stories is equally mysterious and the question of “Where does the additional mass came from?” is rarely answered. Furthermore, this was presumably intended to be a light and humorous little story and thus the writer was not concerned about a realistic approach.

That leads me to my next issue. This may be too short. It was entertaining, but over in a flash! B.E. fans could easily find longer stories on various adult forums. Furthermore, those longer, and often more explicit, tales are completely free.

So, this is only recommended to those who enjoy history and thus want to examine a period of time during which there were no Internet-based forums on which to find a veritable cornucopia of growing breasts. Savage Breasts was originally written when B.E. could only be found in sex comedies like “An Evening with Kitten,” “Homework,” “Jekyll & Hyde Together Again,” etc.

Additionally, based on the seven other stories in Savage Breasts & Other Misbehaving Body Parts, it appears that B.E. was far from Nina’s only interest. Instead, she crafted many other bizarre scenarios. They include appliances becoming human and grappling with issues like dating in the story “When You Can’t Go Back,” emotions such as stress having physical form in “Seeing Other People,” etc. Overall, I liked the anthology. Although, they were all too short, combined the eight are only 56 Kindle-pages long, and they never had the chance to really dig into their intriguing premises and explore the ramifications. Furthermore, folks hoping for a collection of saucy tales involving B.E., penis enlargement (P.E.), and other sexually-charged transformations will be disappointed. Savage Breasts was the only B.E. tale and none of the others were erotic in nature.

Savage Breasts & Other Misbehaving Body Parts can be purchased for $2.99 via Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M0C8BVU/

That’s it for today folks, next week will begin with the conclusion to the GIGANT manga. Until then, let’s all keep a close watch for savage, growing breasts! 🙂

This review is protected under Fair Use copyright law.

All Rights Reserved.

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